Tuesday, February 08, 2011

Kyouko is starting to realize her true feelings.

When Ren held Kyouko's hands, and looked at her, smiling, it was then when she came to that realization. Ren's action towards her brought forth an emotion that she sealed away, never wanting to bring it out. That emotion is love - a feeling accompanied by so much joy, but also accompanied by so much grief.

When Ren held her hands and she came to that realization, she heard a sound echoing within. The sound of that sealed emotion unlocking. She called it a dreadful sound, proving how much she had wanted to keep it from coming out. In page 26, 27, 28, her reaction was that of pure shock, mixed with the fear of falling in love again. She was afraid of what it meant. This reaction is very unlike her previous reactions to Ren, such as Ren saying that he believes her reason for acting, Ren kissing the corn stone, and Ren giving her Queen Rosa rose. Those times she was surprised, she was probably even blushing a little, but she was definitely happy. Which is a far cry from this current reaction.

Seeing how Kyouko reacts to Ren, I can say this does not bode well for him. Already, the pure thought of seeing him again in an official party is causing her so much unrest. It is very likely that she will intentionally try to avoid him. At least for the time being, until she can get everything sorted out.

Ren had always been cautious not to advance towards Kyouko too much. He is aware how she would react. She doesn't respond well to his Emperor of the Night mode, and Ren is afraid that if she becomes aware of what he is trying to do, she would just erase his existence from within her. However, in order for that which he desires to reach fruition, Kyouko realizing her own true feelings is an eventuality, a requisite. How she reacts upon that realization is the variable. Ren is most likely aware that that is no guarantee that she will react positively to it, but it was a chance he had to take. Sometimes, you just have to take a leap of faith, and hope you fly.

For the boxes inside of her, there are 2. Page 30's ending message indicated clearly that this is another within her. It is a different box from the one we see all the way from the beginning.

(Note that the one on Mangareader is wrong. The person who owns the box is not the one who can open it.)

This is all my conjecture, but here is what I can say. The first box, is one of hate. It can not be unlocked by the person who owns it. When Kyouko came to hate Shou, the first box was entirely unlocked. Shou was the one who unlocked it. All her hatred was released that instance.

The second box, which had never before been mentioned, Kyouko sealed it away, all her forbidden memories and emotions inside. I think it's pretty easy to deduce what emotion this second box signifies. The emotion called love, and all the joy, and all the sorrow that it brought to her, she sealed it all away in this box, never wanting it to be touched a second time, never wanting what lay within to be released ever again, with so many locks on it.

Like the first box, the locks of this box cannot be unlocked by the person who owns it. And it is only expected and natural that Ren would be the one to unlock it. As many people have suggested, Ren has been unlocking the locks of this box one, by one. He did not unlock all of them in one go, he has been slowly unlocking them all, and Kyouko only realized it when the last one is gone. Now this box is completely unlocked. What happens after this is a mystery.

On page 30, the person in her flashback is likely to be Shou, from a time long ago. It is sad for me to see that such memories she had, was with Shou. She described that the she remembers this feeling, and what she feels with Ren now, is what she felt with Shou long ago. I am personally not too optimistic about this. Her memories of Shou is wrapped with hatred. There is a chance that she will associate what she went through with Shou, to be an inevitable result of what she is feeling now. She will probably assume that falling in love will mean going through the same pains that Shou brought her, and shun it away.

She also described this feeling, the same way she described in chapter 157. It is a deep concern, that when she realizes she may be in love, all she could recall was what she had with Shou. It's going to take a lot for her to get through this. Her realization leaves her feeling terrified. Her relation with Shou brought her so much pain, that she never wants to have to experience all of that ever again. Her reluctance to go to the party just shows how much she wants to avoid him now. We can only hope for the best now.

What do you guys think? Please post your opinions in the chapter 170 section.

I predict that Kyouko will go through a series of phases and stages, before she finally comes terms with this. This is quite similar to the Kubler-Ross model and the stages of grief. But unlike the model, I believe certain phases takes place concurrently. Sometimes, there is no distinct time difference within the stages.

These are the phases which I anticipate Kyouko going through.

Phase 1: Shock and Horror
Kyouko already went through this stage, upon realizing the possibility of what she may be going through.

Phase 2: Denial and Avoidance
Normally, these are separate phases, but apparently, Kyouko is going to do both. She will be avoiding the whole issue, and be avoiding Ren as well. She will also try to deny what she feels as love.

Phase 3: Retaliation and Escapism
Kyouko will attempt to fight against her feelings. She will believe that she will be better off without these feelings that she have, and attempt to snuff them out. If you put it out of sight, you put it out of mind. She tells herself all sorts of things to forget it. You will only be hurt in the end. You don't need love.

Phase 4: Confusion, Sadness, and Frustration
Upon realizing that she cannot hope to fight these feelings, mixed feelings come in. Confusion is the most likely one, making her uncertain what to do. Memories long forgotten will also start to come back. She will remember the sadness and happiness that she once had. She will also feel frustration and fear, from her doubts. "I don't know what to do...." "What if....."

Phase 5: Confrontation and Self-reflection
Kyouko will face her fears. She will attempt to understand the way she is feeling. She will ask herself these questions: "What do I really want? Is this really love? Do I really love Tsuruga-san? What does he feel about me?" Kyouko will also look at her memories, and understand what they mean.

Phase 6: Acceptance and Advancing
Kyouko accepts the truth. She moves on, towards what she really wants.

This is what I predict happening next chapter.

Kyouko dresses in ordinary clothes to the party. She blends in perfectly in the crowd, and doesn't stand out. No one notices her. No one, except Ren, of course. She tries to get away, but he catches up with her. He asks her if something was wrong, but she denies it of course. She acts very uneasy.

Later on, there is a dance in the party. Ren invites her of course. Kyouko tries to decline, saying that she doesn't know how to dance etc. Ren insists of course, saying that he will lead her and show her. She complies.

As she is dancing with him, all sorts of questions fill her head. Is this what it feels like to be so close to Tsuruga-san? Has he danced like this with many other girls?

After the dance, it fills her, both with a sense of release, at the same time a sense of longing. Ren tells her honestly, that he was afraid of his own past. He was confused, and hesitant, but not any more. He has the courage to move forward now, and he owes it all to her.

Confusion kicks in. All forms of feelings flow into Kyouko. Being unable to deal with it, she decides to run out from the party.

(Post your replies in the Chapter 170 section.)